| RECIPE FOR SALMON SALAD CHEF ALFREDO |
RECIPE FOR SALMON SALAD .. CHEF ALFREDO
1983
TAKE SALMON OUT OF TIN AND CLEAN IT OF SKIN AND BONES AFTER
YOU MADE SURE IT IS DEAD ..
AND POUR SOME WHITE WINE OVER IT.
ADD RAW (MINCED) ONIONS, PICKLES (M), PEPPER, SALT AND SOME
OF THE FLUID OUT OF THE TIN.
YOU'LL PROBABLY CRY BY JUST THINKING HOW WONDERFUL ITS
GOING TO BE : ADD TEARS. DON'T MAKE IT TOO WET.
ADD SOME WELL-DONE BOILED POTATOES (CUBED).
FUNCTION OF THIS IS TOO ABSORB THE FLUIDS, SO KEEP THE TASTE,
AND TO KEEP THE COST OF THE PROJECT LOW.
SHOULD YOU LIVE IN CHINA ADD BOILED RICE.
PREPARE A MAYONAISE DRESSING WITH MAYONAISE (OBVIOUS),
LITTLE TOMATOKETCHUP, LITTLE GARLIC, WHITE WINE,
THOUSAND ISLANDS DRESSING
(IF NOT AVAILABLE 999 HUNDRED ISLANDS WILL DO AS WELL),
AND IF AVAILABLE ADD LITTLE FISH FLAVOR (INSTANT) ALTHOUGH
ALSO SOUEEZING YOUR GOLDFISH WILL DO THE TRICK..
ADD LITTLE OREGANO. ALL INGREDIENTS TO PERSONAL TASTE.
IF YOU LIVE IN ITALY ADD EXTRA OREGANO AND CRUNCHED PIZZA
PIE.
AT THlS POINT THE MAYONAISE MAY BE TOO FLUID WHICH IS NO
PROBLEM YET.
POUR 2/3rd OVER THE SALMON. IF IT SWIMS AWAY?
GO BACK TO BEGINNING OF RECIPE....
NOW SEND OUT EVERYONE OUT OF THE KITCHEN AND START
KNEADING THE ENTIRE THING WITH TWO BARE HANDS OR
PIGSKIN GLOVES.
THE RESULT SHOULD BE A SLIGHTLY WET BUT NOT DRIPPING BIG
BALL.
IF TOO WET SQUEEZE IT TIGHT AND WASTE THE OVERAGE OF FLUIDS.
THE ACTUAL SALMON SALAD IS NOW READY.
ADD MAYONAISE TO THE REMAINING 1/3rd OF THE DRESSING
TO MAKE IT THICKER AND IF THIS SHOULD NOT WORK FREEZE
IT. ITS SUPPOSED TO 'SlT' ON THE SALAD AND SHOULD NOT
LEAK INTO AND DISAPPEAR INTO THE SALAD(BALL).
TAKE PLATTER
(THE ONE YOU STOLE FROM HOLIDAY INN HOTEL IS EXCELLENT)
ON WHICH SALAD TO BE SERVED AND COVER WITH GREEN LETTUCE
ON WHICH THE SALMONSALAD IS PLACED AND SHAPED ACCORDING
TO FORM OF PLATTER.
POUR THE MAYONAISE ALL OVER AND DECORATE THE MAYONAISE
WITH RED PAPRIKAPOWDER , DRIED PARSLEY AND CAPERS.
DECORATE AROUND WITH SLICED TOMATOES, SLICED HARD BOILED
EGGS (MAKE SURE THEY ARE BOILED BY CRACKING THE SHELL
ON YOUR HEAD)
SLICED PICKLES, COCKTAIL ONIONS.
DO NOT HESITATE TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A TRUE AND DAMNED GOOD RECIPE .
~ IF YOU CUT OUT THE NONSENSE ...
ENJOY AND GOOD LUCK. CHEF ALFREDO.
1983
TAKE SALMON OUT OF TIN AND CLEAN IT OF SKIN AND BONES AFTER
YOU MADE SURE IT IS DEAD ..
AND POUR SOME WHITE WINE OVER IT.
ADD RAW (MINCED) ONIONS, PICKLES (M), PEPPER, SALT AND SOME
OF THE FLUID OUT OF THE TIN.
YOU'LL PROBABLY CRY BY JUST THINKING HOW WONDERFUL ITS
GOING TO BE : ADD TEARS. DON'T MAKE IT TOO WET.
ADD SOME WELL-DONE BOILED POTATOES (CUBED).
FUNCTION OF THIS IS TOO ABSORB THE FLUIDS, SO KEEP THE TASTE,
AND TO KEEP THE COST OF THE PROJECT LOW.
SHOULD YOU LIVE IN CHINA ADD BOILED RICE.
PREPARE A MAYONAISE DRESSING WITH MAYONAISE (OBVIOUS),
LITTLE TOMATOKETCHUP, LITTLE GARLIC, WHITE WINE,
THOUSAND ISLANDS DRESSING
(IF NOT AVAILABLE 999 HUNDRED ISLANDS WILL DO AS WELL),
AND IF AVAILABLE ADD LITTLE FISH FLAVOR (INSTANT) ALTHOUGH
ALSO SOUEEZING YOUR GOLDFISH WILL DO THE TRICK..
ADD LITTLE OREGANO. ALL INGREDIENTS TO PERSONAL TASTE.
IF YOU LIVE IN ITALY ADD EXTRA OREGANO AND CRUNCHED PIZZA
PIE.
AT THlS POINT THE MAYONAISE MAY BE TOO FLUID WHICH IS NO
PROBLEM YET.
POUR 2/3rd OVER THE SALMON. IF IT SWIMS AWAY?
GO BACK TO BEGINNING OF RECIPE....
NOW SEND OUT EVERYONE OUT OF THE KITCHEN AND START
KNEADING THE ENTIRE THING WITH TWO BARE HANDS OR
PIGSKIN GLOVES.
THE RESULT SHOULD BE A SLIGHTLY WET BUT NOT DRIPPING BIG
BALL.
IF TOO WET SQUEEZE IT TIGHT AND WASTE THE OVERAGE OF FLUIDS.
THE ACTUAL SALMON SALAD IS NOW READY.
ADD MAYONAISE TO THE REMAINING 1/3rd OF THE DRESSING
TO MAKE IT THICKER AND IF THIS SHOULD NOT WORK FREEZE
IT. ITS SUPPOSED TO 'SlT' ON THE SALAD AND SHOULD NOT
LEAK INTO AND DISAPPEAR INTO THE SALAD(BALL).
TAKE PLATTER
(THE ONE YOU STOLE FROM HOLIDAY INN HOTEL IS EXCELLENT)
ON WHICH SALAD TO BE SERVED AND COVER WITH GREEN LETTUCE
ON WHICH THE SALMONSALAD IS PLACED AND SHAPED ACCORDING
TO FORM OF PLATTER.
POUR THE MAYONAISE ALL OVER AND DECORATE THE MAYONAISE
WITH RED PAPRIKAPOWDER , DRIED PARSLEY AND CAPERS.
DECORATE AROUND WITH SLICED TOMATOES, SLICED HARD BOILED
EGGS (MAKE SURE THEY ARE BOILED BY CRACKING THE SHELL
ON YOUR HEAD)
SLICED PICKLES, COCKTAIL ONIONS.
DO NOT HESITATE TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A TRUE AND DAMNED GOOD RECIPE .
~ IF YOU CUT OUT THE NONSENSE ...
ENJOY AND GOOD LUCK. CHEF ALFREDO.
